Reflections on Vietnam

Just as I needed to meet my family in Cambodia to feel related to them, I needed to come to Vietnam to understand its part in my heritage. Ma’s mom was born in Chinatown in Saigon. She was adopted at the age of six by a Chinese family living in Cambodia. Up until the age of six, she only spoke Vietnamese and Chinese. After arriving to Cambodia, she dropped the Vietnamese exchanging it for Cambodian instead. A Vietnamese neighbourhood has sprung up in Santa Ana, California. When grandma shops there now, some of her Vietnamese comes back to her. It’s like Vietnam never really left her. It was just asked to be forgotten, but she still remembers her birthplace. And now we do too.

While grandma was born in Saigon, she is only 50% of Vietnamese descent; her mother was Vietnamese while her father was Chinese. Since grandma married grandpa whose ancestors were all Chinese, ma is 25% Vietnamese. Since ma married pa whose parents were born in China, Van and I are 12.5% Vietnamese.

That said, according to locals, ma looks one hundred percent Vietnamese. The locals enjoy conversing with ma (or attempting to anyway). When they hear me call her “mommy”, they call her “mom”. “Mom, it only cost 4 dollar US, that very good price.” Exhausted by the negotiation process, ma has actually become quite good at demanding prices. “Four dollar too expensive; two dollar I take it.” For the first time, I actually feel like a part of me comes from here…

Mar. 19 – Saigon, Last night

We arrive at 3pm, zip to a custom tailor in Saigon, get a couple business skirts I had ordered there (before we left for Hue / Hoi An), then eat at our favourite $7 dollar dinner place: the street vendor outside Ben Thanh Market. We tried expensive food; we tried cheap food. The cheaper stuff was better! Of course, there may be a correlation with street food and how much I’ve gotten sick on this trip… I pick up a cold just before leaving. It is now time to go.

Mar. 18 – Hue to Hoi An, Culture of shopping?

This morning, we drive three hours from Hue to Hoi An. Hoi An is a small, walkable town, with 80,000 inhabitants and who knows how many tourists, but there are a lot of us. Ma and I had been slated to do a cultural walk around town. Hoi An is the only surviving town from the country’s middle ages. This town, however, is also famous for its custom tailoring. You can get clothes, purses, shoes, rugs, seemingly whatever you want suited to your preferences for at least half the cost of what we would pay back home. Since we are here for only 24 hours, we ask our guide to make “Yaly” our first stop. Many back home recommended this place for custom tailoring. It is the biggest sop, with three stores in the small town. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, we are at this store for what seems like almost the entire 24 hours, with only a sprint through town to visit heritage sites and eat. We have to do many fittings before the clothes come out close to what we had imagined / hoped. With time constraints, we accept the third attempt to alter / perfect the clothing, then jump on a plane to head back to Saigon.

Mar. 17 – Saigon to Hue, The Kings and the French

Today we take a 45 min. flight to Hue, located in the middle of Vietnam, on the east side, near the Pacific Ocean. In this town, we visit the historically restricted royal grounds: the royal palace, royal tombs, etc. We also visit the temples where monks live, learn, and exercise their spirituality.

The royal palace looks like a miniature version of the Forbidden City in Beijing. It is engaging to walk down the hall showcasing the former kings and have our tour guide share with us the stories of each king’s ascent to the throne then fall to his death. Some of the kings were murdered by the “next in line”. If I recall correctly, one lasted less than a week, another four months, another right months, etc. There is one pic that looks to me like he is a she. I ask, “Is that a picture of the queen?” The guide replies, “No, but he has been known to be referred to as Madame”.

The royal tombs are just as grand as the palace. By one of the tombs, we see that half the tiles are one shade and the other half another shade. According to our guide, the French had tried to dig up the corpse for jewelry, but found nothing, not even the King. The King had himself buried at a secret location. Two hundred men carried his tomb underground. All of them were buried alive with the King to keep the location secret. Of course, who buried them alive is still a question.

Following our palatial tour, we climb aboard a boat and head to our restored colonial French hotel. The French did contribute some great architecture.

Mar. 16 - Ho Chi Minh City, The Mekong

The Mekong River which snakes through, China, Thailand, Laos (?), Cambodia, and Vietnam, is important to the development and economy of these regions. Many of the inhabitants in these countries rely on the Mekong for various reasons, from transportation to housing (i.e. floating communities) to bathing to fishing to trading and selling, etc. We take a boat ride on the Mekong to visit a couple islands.

On one of the islands, we stop by to pose with a giant boa constructor; that is, I attempt to hold the heavy snake while shrieking for ma to take the pic quickly so I can give back the snake to its owner. The owner asks if I would like to hold a screen from his bee hive. Remembering how much it hurt when I got bit by a bee, I quickly respond “no thanks”. Ma shudders, and moves onto enjoy honey tea. Afterwards, we walk through the tropical vegetation, seeing pineapple sprouts, logan trees, dragon fruit vines. Our tour includes a stop to enjoy the exotic fruits. We then canoe down a very narrow, winding river, with water coconut branches on either side arching way up over us. In our pics, it looks like this is a quiet, fairly isolated journey, but in actual fact there are tourists canoe to canoe in a long line here. Nevertheless, we enjoy the ride.

Next, we head to a very small outdoor coconut candy factory. Upon sampling the delicious treat, ma and I play the good tourist and buy a bag, but only one, politely refusing the “buy 4 get one free, make good gift for friends and family” offers. The day trip out to the Mekong is far; we hit rush hour traffic on the way home. We spend the rest of the day in this traffic. I shouldn’t have drank so much water…

Mar. 14 & 15 - Ho Chi Minh City, Warfare

Among Vietnam’s greatest tourist attractions are its war remnants. According to our guide, Vietnam fought approximately 1000 years against “imperialist” China, 100 years against the “colonist” French, and then 20 years in a civil war (which to North Vietnamese felt more like a war against the U.S.).

We hit the war museum, where we learn about Agent Orange – a toxic chemical used by the American’s during the Vietnam War that took place officially from 1965 to 1973. In two jars, we see preserved still birth babies who have been affected by Agent Orange. One jar has a baby with a head as large as his / her body while the other jar has two babies who look like aliens with skulls attached. This museum, although clearly from one point of view, is sad and informative. Next, we hit the history museum. This museum would not have been as enriching without our guide. She had these great stories, which had been told to her again and again during childhood then reaffirmed in school. In one picture, we see a Vietnamese fleet battle against a Mongolian one that looks ten times larger. Our guide asks, “How did we beat the Mongols?” Ma and I look at the picture again; sharpened bamboo in the water is tearing apart Mongol ships. “We lured the Mongols into this trap which dramatically reduced the size of their army and ensured our victory”, says our guide. Sadly, one need not even go into these museums to see the remnants of war. En route to dinner, we see some beggars with severed limbs others looking as though their skin had peeled off. The museums are helpful though, as they attempt to explain what happened.

The next day, we crawl through the Cu Chi tunnels—one of the most impressive war strategies. In the village of Cu Chi, the inhabitants banded together, took their lives underground, then created death traps (e.g. clipping arm pit trap, see-saw trap, roll-over trap, etc.) all over the grounds above. The tunnels they created to get down and move around the underground were so small that only the very short and slim Vietnamese could slide through them. (See pic, I am barely able to squeeze in and out of them!) At the Cu Chi tunnels, I also try shooting. The first gun I pick is a machine gun, because it is the biggest, but I am told it is too heavy for me to carry. Relenting, I pick up the AK47. Not knowing to put the butt of the gun tight against my shoulder, I fire, only to have the butt ricochet just below my collar bone and bruise me. I am pathetic! Give me a gun, and I will hurt myself even without aiming at myself. I am no better as a farmer. Next, I try to separate rice skins from harvested grains. I use my whole body to turn the lever, but our guide says to me, “You too slow. You would be a poor farmer.” Thank goodness I opted for a different occupation.

Mar. 13 - Siem Reap to Ho Chi Minh City, Differences & Similarities

We travel from Siem Reap to Ho Chi Minh City. We exchange $100 US and get back over 1,500,000 Dong. We have never held a million of any currency! We take our wad of bills and head to our hotel. On the way, we see that cars in Vietnam drive in one direction on lanes. (In Cambodia, the rule was drive anyway you want just don’t hit anyone. It was surreal in Cambodia to drive into oncoming traffic only to see it part, in the nick of time, like Moses and the red sea, for us to drive through it). Ironically, we see more accidents in Vietnam than in Cambodia. In both countries, however, it is hair-raising to cross the street. You can tell who the foreigners are, because we’re the ones with panic-stricken faces, linking arms, laboriously trying to get across. We let out a sigh of relief as we pat ourselves alive on the other side. Then, we brace ourselves for the next street, (deep breathe in…) Thank goodness garbage is thrown in bins in Vietnam! (In Cambodia the bin was the ground—outdoors and indoors, except in homes. Ma and I refused to throw stuff down. In fact, at Uncle Meng’s wedding, ma went around picking up garbage worried people on the dance floor would slip on it. “Ewe ma”, I said, “stop”. She continued). While other differences exist between the two countries, sadly corruption exists in both. In Vietnam and Cambodia, we were asked for tips by official immigration officers. Enjoying SE Asia today requires relaxing your ethical standards, expecting poor environmental practices, and learning to navigate traffic. I can’t say I am good at any of these.

Reflections on Cambodia

Three weeks…went by quickly. Although compared to most locals here, we traveled in style: private driver, air conditioned car, cold water and wet towels on trips, full and fun itineraries, traveling with local family or staying in top hotels. It was nice to have these comforts, especially in Cambodia which is like the outback of SE Asia. It is among the least developed here, with improvements needed to everything, health care, environment protection, telecommunications, other infrastructure, etc. That said, it also has some of the most gorgeous landscape and ancient architecture I have ever seen. It remains to be seen if Cambodia can continue to develop while maintaining its natural and historical beauty.

Despite the many nasty mosquito bites I got, my incessant tummy troubles and canker sores, our trip to Cambodia has been incredibly enlightening, emotionally fulfilling, and so much fun. By the way, laws here have changed: both Ethan and I are now applicable for Cambodian citizenship. I can prove my lineage as required, (Cambodian’s love documentation). I wonder if Ethan and I are also applicable for China and Vietnam citizenships too, after all, pa’s mom was born in China while ma’s was born in Vietnam.

Mar. 12 – Siem Reap, The site of Tomb Raider

Save the best temple for last! The Bayon temple was my favourite until I saw the jungle temple called Ta Prohm. Now there’s a tie.

What a sight: trees seemingly growing out of the temple, their roots crawling down the sides of the walls like fingers clinging to their property. Some roots snake along the ledges others sprawl down to the floor—talk about being one with nature. The temple was built in the 12th century around the same time as Angkor Wat. Over the last 800 years, the temple has crumbled. Now, the trees support the temple as much as the temple supports the trees. This is the site in Angelina Jolie’s movie, Tomb Raider. As much as I would like to reenact her scene for a pic, the number of tourists here makes it impossible; although they would provide an audience…

After this temple, my stomach troubles send us back to the hotel, where I finally succumb to taking cipro. Three non-stop days of running to the bathroom after every meal has got to stop!

Later this evening, we will meet members of pa’s family—one family that lives in town and the other one with whom we stayed in Sisophon will be driving in. Sisophon is only a 2-hour drive from Siem Reap. When my parents lived here in 79, it was a 7-day walk’. I wonder if this was the trip pa carried ma on his shoulders…

Mar. 11 – Siem Reap, Big, beautiful, and bold

Today we drive an hour outside of town to the mountain called Phnom Kulen. At this mountain we see two eye-catching sites: 1) a giant reclining Buddha carved into the top of this huge sandstone rock, 2) a sprinkling waterfall that is heavier and stronger during the wet season, (we are entering the hot season, with the dry season to follow).

We also strain our eyes to see beneath the river (that flows into the waterfall) the carvings of Vishnu (the god of preservation) and the symbol of creation (a square with a circle inside, the square representing a man and the circle representing a woman). In ancient times, water that ran over these carvings was said to be holy. Today, locals and daring tourists can bathe in this water.

After this trip, we head to the temple, Banteay Srei. This temple is usually the favourite of tourists, because its deep, intricate carvings are the best in tact of all the temples here. While I concur that Banteay Srei is beautiful, loving our walk in and out of the picture frame doorways, I still love the smiles on the statues in the Bayon temple. Nonetheless, I take plentiful pictures here to remember this experience and share it.

Following the temple, we visit the land mine museum. The entrance sign shows that Canada has provided funds to support this museum and its founder. I am proud of my country! The founder of the land mine is one of the most interesting people I have read about here. His name is Aki Ra. At the age of five, the Khmer killed his parents and conscripted him into their army. As a member of the Khmer Rouge, he laid down hundreds and thousands of land mines. He eventually joined Vietnamese forces against the Khmer Rouge, and now has dedicated his life to removing the very land mines he helped to drop. I buy a t-shirt to support his efforts.

Mar. 10 – Siem Reap, Ankgor Wat at 5:30am

We get up at 4:45am hoping to join the few eager to see the sun rise behind one of the largest temples in the world, Angkor Wat. When we arrive, there is a crowd. It is clear that Angkor Wat is the main attraction in Cambodia. Accepting this, we sit and wait. The sun rises. At first slowly, then we see it peek, and it seems to ascend more quickly, up behind the temple, accenting the scene, not stealing the show, but making the place look even more majestic. We sit in awe.

Once the sun has fully risen, like all the other tourists we head inside. All the Buddha heads are gone! They were stolen... If you see a Buddha head, please return. We walk in and around the temple. Our guide tells us that a moat was built around the temple to make it appear as though it were floating in heaven. Furthermore, the carvings in the sandstone depict gods, arms stretched up and out, as if they are holding up the temple much like Hercules holding up the world.

Angkor Wat was built in the 12th century to honour Vishnu, the god of preservation. It was originally created as a Hindu temple, but has since been turned into a Buddhist one. At the time it was built, there were a million people living in the area. King (nicknamed) Jay VII ordered half the population to work on the temple itself and the other half to provide supplies to those putting up the temple. Luckily, Angkor Wat has survived the many wars on Cambodian soil, though it still being reconstructed. After our tour, we head back to the hotel for our “free breakfast with hotel stay”, then nap!

In the afternoon, we take a quick boat ride through the floating community on lake Tonle Sap. Over 8,000 families live in bamboo huts literally floating on the water. Families station their homes by dropping weights. As we ride by, we see a floating school, a floating basket ball court, a floating convenience store. We also see a motor boat helping to move a home over to deeper waters, as the dry season is drawing near. The water is murky; in fact, it is indistinguishable in colour from the brown dirt by the shore. People here go to the bathroom, bath, fish, and travel on this same water. We are astonished by all of it.

Mar. 9 – Anlong Veng, Recently demined

Scary, I had heard about land mines, but I had not seen any warning signs for them in the country yet, except on tourist t-shirts, until we arrived at the town of Anlong Veng. Three-hours away from Siem Reap and right by the Thailand border, this town was the last stronghold of the Khmer Rouge.

Driving up the mountain in Anlong Veng, we see these signs—a white skull on a red square—on either side of our one lane dirt road. I really have to pee, so ma says, “Go in the bush!” I look at her, then at the signs, then at her and say, “Are you kidding!” She says, “There are no land mines by Ta-Mok’s house; pee near there.” (Ta-Mok was second in command of the Khmer Rouge party). I hold it.

A few signs do say that the area has been cleared; though they still warn us to stay on paths at all times. Therefore, no peeing in the bush here for me!

We do climb out of the car to walk on a clearly heavily trodden path in between long grass to the ruins of Ta-Mok’s house. Then we walk out and perch on this huge rock that jets over the edge of the mountain. What a look out point the Khmer Rouge had! They heavily mined the area up to the mountain so that those who tried to climb up to them were blown apart. Ironically, Ta-Mok lost a leg to one of his own land-mines. Afterwards, we visit, leader of the Khmer Rouge, Pol-Pot’s cremation site. Both Pol Pot and Ta-Mok died of natural causes back in the 90’s. Finally, we check out Ta-Mok’s summer residence where the strongest Khmer Rouge leaders convened. The room is half-enclosed and half-open, with these ornately carved banisters adorned further by a flower bush next to them. The blackened stumps of trees in the field, however, contrast with the picturesque room, serving as reminder of what really took place here. Although tough to take in, I am happy we made the drive out here.

Mar. 8 – Phnom Penh to Siem Reap, The smile of Ankgor

Our flight from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap is a quick 45 minutes. At the airport we meet up with our tour guide and driver. After checking in at our hotel, we waste no time, heading out with our guide to the Bayon Temple, which has over 200 smiling faces of Angkor.

I love that the ancient temples here have these long, romantic corridors with wide-open entrances that look like picture frame doorways. The doorways are perfectly aligned so that you can see right down the halls. At the Bayon temple, my favourite sight is looking down a dark hall and seeing this huge, bright smile at the other end of it lit by natural sunlight. Just beautiful…magnificent…I am so excited to be here.

I also find it amusing that I have to prove to every ticket office at these cultural places that I speak Khmer, so I don’t have to pay to get in places. I’ve even had ticket officers chase after me, because they swore I was from China or Japan. Funny though that I am the only one targeted in our group; ma and our guide pass no problem. I am well-remembered by everyone as the one who speaks “bai-lam, bai-lam”, translated as “so-so”. I’ll accept that, especially if it saves me from paying $20 to visit a major site. That buys lunch and dinner!

Tonight, dinner is at my step-aunt’s place in Siem Reap. Above is a pic of her and her sons standing in front of her laundry business; they live above it. Unlike Phnom Penh, Siem Reap is a walkable city. After a delicious home-cooked meal, my aunt satisfying my new vegetarian and seafood diet (note: I gave up meet here; will explain back home), ma and I do the penguin walk with full bellies back to our hotel.

Mar. 7 – Kandal, Easy does it

Today is a light day of travel, because I want to rush back to spend more time with pa’s family. Plus, the sights today (Phnom Chisor and Tonle Bati) are nice to see, but not need to see.

Phnom (mountain) Chisor was worth the climb. The stairs up this mountain were twice the height of yesterday’s stairs (at Phnom Srei). On completing the steps, ma is excited until she sees another set of steps that take us higher. She looks at me and says (in her Cambodian accent), “You want to go up?” Translation: “I’m tired!” Smiling, I say “Yes”. Then I tell her she can wait here, but ma says “No, if you go I go”. Then adds, “I feel sorry for your guide in Siem Reap; he has no idea what he’s in for.” On top of the mountain are the ruins of an ancient temple with a gorgeous view of the town. I want to sit here a while and try to, but the unbearable heat of the sun ushers me back down.

We swing by Tonle (lake) Bati, which is a popular park with picnic huts floating in the water; very picturesque, but way too many vendors beckoning you to leave your car with them, eat their food, enjoy their hospitality, i.e. very little peace and quiet here. At this point, Maly is ready to head back to the city and enjoy the comfort of her family there.

Mar. 6 – Kvet & Kampong Cham, Pa’s birthplace

Staying at my step-uncle’s place in Phnom Penh, we do as the locals do: swing by a kyteow (noodle soup) diner for breakfast. Uncle Chok just lives down the street from one, so we walk over together and basically just sit down. The waitresses have become accustomed to our typical order: everyone pretty much takes all the fixings while Maly’s dish is as basic as possible due to my on-and-off stomach troubles. Aren’t I supposed to adjust at some point!?

After breakfast, we part ways with Uncle Chok. He heads out to work work; we head out to look for pa’s hometown, Kvet. “He was born on the land next to a temple, before a bridge, in a very small town that does not have a sign, outside of the city, Kampong Cham”, were our directions. Ok… There are only a zillion temples and bridges here! Checking in with what felt like 10 local residents later, we find it.

The current owners of the land welcome us. They remember my dad, because he came to visit a few years back. Plus it’s hard to forget my dad, because he’s so jovial. I walk the grounds and wonder what pa was like when he was young and imagine his life here. The driver asks me if my coming here is emotionally-overwhelming. I tell him it’s emotionally-fulfilling.

(Oh by the way, en route to Kvet there is a food stop where vendors sell snacks like salted tarantulas and spiced crickets. I am scared of both—dead or alive! Our driver eats one to prove it’s a local delicacy; ma pretends to nibble on one of the tarantula’s legs, before discreetly trying to toss it. I laugh).

After visiting pa’s birthplace, we climbed the steps of both Phnom Bros (the men’s mountain) and Phnom Srei (the women’s mountain). An ancient folklore says the men and women in the area competed to see who could build a higher mountain. The losing gender had to propose to the winning one. Unsurprisingly, Phnom Srei was a lot higher ;) I didn’t think Phnom Srei was that high, but ma was so tired she had to pull herself up using the banister. The driver copied ma. I, of course, sprinted up, panting when I got to the top. Phnom Bros was much easier to ascend, and was actually the prettier of the two. It had little wild monkeys running around its property, and I don’t mean me and ma! It also had a temple next to it that had the statue of four faces, which worships the god Brahma. I like this face as it reminds me of the people of Cambodia.

Mar. 3 to 5 - Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville, By the ocean

It’s certainly been a ping-pong of an experience, going from beautiful to ugly and back to beautiful. Yesterday we saw the ornate palace and museum, then the gloomy genocidal sites, and now we’re off to the exotic town of Sihanoukville, right by the ocean.

En route, we stop off at Kirirom National Park, and I am excited because our itinerary boasts of this 40-meter waterfall that drops from a mountain and flows into a river; street posters back in Phnom Penh confirmed this beautiful sight. I can hardly wait to see it! As the car rounds the mountain, I get a sense for the height of the water. On arriving, however, I learn that the water doesn’t flow til July. Sulking begins… We walk among the huge rocks on the dry bottom of the river. Ma’s brother Uncle Leng is with us; he makes me laugh (as he usually does) and I smile for a picture, ready to head out again.

We finally arrive in Sihanoukville. Driving through, we see shop after shop selling bikinis and bright floral pattern shorts, confirming it’s a beach town. Our hotel, Sokha Resort & Spa, is modern yet appropriately decorated with traditional Cambodian roof trimmings. The hotel has an inviting pool outback, surrounded by grass; then a few steps take you down into this soft, silky pearl coloured sand. (I wonder if the beach is naturally this beautiful, until I see local labour the next morning sifting the sand to remove debris). We enjoy the beach nonetheless.

On arriving at the hotel, we whip on our bathing suit and dash into the water. The ocean is warm and salty. "Uncle Leng, did you pee?” Uncle Leng smiles mischievously, and we laugh knowing he’s joking or better be. After splashing around, we enjoy dinner with our driver, Vath.

Next morning, I’m excited about the “free breakfast with hotel stay”. It’s a time to fill up before I am subjected to roadside or picnic vendors for lunch. They’re our only options on long drives; bringing food is tough, will explain back home. Anyway, it’s tough to stomach street food knowing hand soap and toilet paper are hardly found in bathrooms here. And guess which bathroom the chef uses!?

Today’s lunch is a boxed one. We have a 1.5 hour boat trip to an island in the ocean. The island is essentially a mountain with silky sand along parts of its base and giant rocks along other parts. We sit on the rocks for lunch. Afterwards, we walk through the forest that ascends with the height of the mountain. We hike from one side of the mountain to the other, stopping by a tiny community of 30 families who live in huts and subsist on the land and water around them. With the exception of our group and the natives, I feel isolated from the world, until I see a larger group of tourist catch up to us.

We board the boat back, and meet up with my friend Lindsay (from Canada) and her husband Simon (from the UK) for dinner. Although we were born in Cambodia, Lindsay and Simon are now current residents here. Over Cambodian-Japanese-German food, we have a blast teaching each other about the country; we share our experiences of the past while they inform us of the present. It was fun. We head out for Phnom Penh the next day.

Mar.2 - Phnom Penh, Playing tourist (PART II)

The second half of our day is spent touring re-constructed sites of Cambodia’s recent genocidal history. We enter the Khmer Rouge (KR) central prison, S-21 or Toul Sleng, where members of the elite class (including politicians, foreign diplomats, successful entrepreneurs, professors, etc.) and their captured family members were brought for questioning, torturing, and imprisonment. We snake in between panels displaying the portraits of prisoners. (On arriving here, prisoners had their pictures taken and their family trees recorded—the KR went after whole families. Naturally, most prisoners lied about their relations). Over 14,000 prisoners were brought here; few survived. It is appropriate that the name Toul Sleng translates into “poison on a higher level”. Scarily, Toul Sleng was Auntie Laura’s former high school.

(Ma poses at Toul Sleng; in her hair one of the beautiful, dainty white flowers from a tree that now adorns this once awful place).

Afterwards, our driver drops us off at this scenic restaurant for lunch. It is a place for tourists, which is clear by the modernized décor and the more subtle flavoured foods. While ma and I are ecstatic about the cleanliness of the restaurant (particularly the bathroom), we agree that food at real Cambodian restaurants taste better. Must the trade-off exist—savory food or cleanliness? Sounds like a business opportunity here…

Next, we tour the grounds of the Killing Fields at Choeungek. Here, prisoners of Toul Sleng were taken to be executed alongside thousands of other blind-folded inhabitants of the country. A stark white erect monument (seemingly rising to the sky) with glass panels showcases a square tower of skulls unearthed from the mass graves nearby. We burn incents and pray for the deceased and their families. We walk solemnly in between the mass graves which look like rolling grass craters in the ground. The prison leader of Toul Sleng, the one who commanded death, was here just the week before. He is on trial now for his role in the atrocities. Ma and I leave the place, relieved that her immediate family and pa’s were never caught.